It Wasn’t My Fault

It isn’t my fault. You let us down, not the other way around. It wasn’t our job to clean up after you. We aren’t responsible for the choices you made. You were supposed to be responsible for us, you weren’t. 

You were our parent. As a parent it was your job to protect, not abuse. A little girl is supposed to be able to trust her dad, not fear him. You never thought about what you were supposed to do. You were supposed to provide for us, not waste money on cigarettes, alcohol, and your next impulse. 

A parent should love, encourage, and build up their children. You never encouraged us, you insulted us and degraded us. You told us we were stupid, ugly, and no one wanted either of us. You were wrong. 

We are happy. We each have a man who loves us. We are not stupid. We are not useless or unwanted. It was not our fault. It was your fault, you made your choices and not you live with them. 

I have a daughter now. You don’t know her. You don’t know she exists. If I can help it you will never know she exists. She will never face the kind of poison you spread. My daughter is beautiful, she’s perfect, and she is so very special. She will never be exposed to any of the things you exposed us to. 

You claim that I am not a “real Christian”. You claim that I am not acting the way I was raised. You are right, I am using the way I was raised as an example of how to never act. You did not teach me what was right. You taught me that I never want to be like you. You did that, not me. 

I am finally coming to terms with all of this. I can except that I don’t have to feel bad. I don’t have to feel guilty for leaving. I don’t have to feel bad for saying my own life. I am not responsible for your unhappiness. I am not at fault for being happy. I will be happy, I will rejoice, and most importantly I won’t look back in regret. 

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